unconditional love
tuesday’s Dr. Phil was about seeking unconditional love. We hate Dr. Phil and the Oprah he rode in on. speaking of interacial sex and unconditional love (we think they’re hilariously connected), kate stole that line from her ex-boyfriend. but what’s he got to do with anything? let’s just revisit one of kate’s first blogs ever:
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19 Dec 2006
Why I am the best you ever had mother fucker
Current mood: 
ecstatic
So you wanna know why I am the best girlfriend you’ll ever have? Well, I’m gonna tell you. I don’t mean to toot my own horn but toot mother fuckin toot.
1. I flew you to another city to watch, from club level seats might I add, your favorite NFL team play.
2. I bought you tickets to see you favorite band play while I was in another country just so you would have something to do on Valentine’s Day. I just didn’t realize that something to do was another girl you douche bag.
3. I loved your dog like she was my own. I even kept her for you on several occassions after we’d already broken up. And I didn’t tell you about most of the times she shit in my house because I didn’t want you to feel guilty about it. But, you don’t really feel guilty about most things, do you?
4. I included you in everything my family did because your family didn’t live here.
5. I would surprise you with presents at your office when you went out for lunch so there would be something waiting for you when you got back.
6. I bought you a kick ass horsehoe set, sand included bitches, so that you and your guy friends would always have something to do.
7. I never went grocery shopping without buying you your favorite things so that I could keep a stock of them at my house just for you. And I hate Cheez-Its and most of the other shit you ate.
8. I cooked for you and I hate cooking like Rachael Ray hates meals that take more than 30 minutes.
9. I let you stick it my ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (that should be number 1 but i’ll stick with number 9)
10. I found you lawyers and doctors to help you with your medical malpractice that you never followed through with but still bitch about all the time!
What I have’t given you that you truly deserve is a fucking punch to the throat. Take care of my dog because I always loved her way more than I ever loved you. I hope cheating on me was worth it because you just lost these top 10 things and a million more than I shouldn’t even have to mention. Don’t talk to me, don’t talk to my family, and I highly advise staying away from my friends because they might just throat punch you too!
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Now that’s unconditional love.
love,
kate and cannon
